We have grown up watching Bollywood movies. Our cinemas may be plastered with posters of Bollywood movies but all of us know that these movies aren’t exactly the kinds that leave any real impact on our lives because they are just so far from reality that it would be absurd to believe any of this could really happen. But it’s a guilty pleasure… we can’t help ourselves.
Here are 27 things an average Pakistani hates about Bollywood movies:
1. There is a love story in every story.
2. Some movies are only love-triangles and nothing else.
a) Two friends love the same girl. Always.
b) Best friend falls in love with another girl.
3. Apparently, it takes just one song to fall in love with someone!
4. In India one minute and Switzerland the next!
Scene 1 – They talk in Chandni Chowk
Scene 2 – Dancing in Egypt
WHAT?! I want that teleportation device too!
5. The heroine dances in a Chiffon sari/Net dress… in the snow! -_-
Are these heroines immune to the cold?
She has super-powers that we ordinary people obviously don’t have.
6. Songs, songs and more songs!
The movies are more about the songs than the story-lines!
7. Suddenly everyone breaks out into coordinated dance moves and matching outfits.
8. Funny dance moves!
How is dancing like a kangaroo a dance move?
9. Item numbers that have no connection to the story-line.
Why? Really though, why??
10. Rain: they love rain!
Obviously in their transparent saris!
11. Good girl falls in love with the bad boy -ALWAYS!
12. Bad boy falls in love with a Satti Savitri and tranforms into the ultimate good boy.
13. Good boys/girls are friend-zoned.
14. Nerdy girl takes off glasses and becomes the sexiest Diva in the movie.
With Chashma – Naina!
Without Chasma – PHATAKA:
15. Unrealistic portrayal of how love works!
In real life there are no violins or music or flying dupattas!
16. If they have Salman Khan. They only have Salman Khan. No plot – No story.
17. Everyone in the movie is rich. Someone who’s not rich marries someone rich and becomes rich. No poverty – Happy India!
18. They love to overact!
19. And some love to under-act!
No, there is no middle ground.
20. Stunts are never original. They copy everything from Hollywood.
This is Kangana Ranaut in Krrish 3:
And this is Catwoman!
21. The hero, by himself, can deal with all the gundas around him! One man army – always.
He will kill them all!
22. Their action sequences are more humourous than their comedy movies.
23. They are overdosed with melo-drama!
24. Their horror movies are horrific!
Not everyone who sticks out their tongues is a ghost guys… Can we have some sane looking ghosts, please?
25. The characters, especially the moms, have supernatural powers!
Oh you naughty mummy!
26. They love RUNNING!
In every song… Perhaps the inspiration comes from Bay Watch?
27. And there is always a happy ending to all the stories! Always.
But in reality it’s not always “Ja Simran ja jee le apni zindagi” okay!?